“I have the power to change my circumstances”
My name is Ricardo, I am a Federal pretrial detainee in Chicago, IL since my arrest on September 8, 2023. A couple of months ago I began documenting my journey, as a commitment to change and my determination to help others. My goal is to tell you a true story that shows that success is possible regardless of our situation and my hope is that by reading this you may also feel inspired to transform your life.
Being in jail for first-time in my life, the first weeks were times of brokenness and desperation. As I retrospected upon my life, I realized that what once seemed as the most significant and alluring, now seemed so futile and absurd. Little did I know at the time, that I had destroyed my life. My bad choices, horrible decisions and lack of humility had put me in here. My greed, my addictions, the lies and the cheating had taken over my life. I lost my family, my children, my businesses and my friends. I let down everyone who had ever looked up to me. I hurt the people that love me the most. I had quit on myself and simply obliterated everything I had worked for my whole life. I had to quickly understand that in order to turn my life around, I needed a new attitude; I needed to start thinking differently. I had to start by take responsibility for my actions, see mistakes as learning opportunities, and finally remind myself that every day opens a new opportunity for change. Since then I have learned that everyone falls down at some point, but a man’s greatest struggle does not consist of never falling down, but of rising every time he falls.
In jail we don’t get many choices, but we can choose to embrace challenges, persisting in the face of setbacks, and seeking opportunities for growth and learning. During my first couple months, I dedicated my time to reading and studying the law. Understanding my case, and mentoring anyone who needed help. Through helping others, I began to see the lack of confidence and hope that exists in jail; what I see as the beginnings within the patterns of failure. I am learning of many problems within our communities that lead to crime. I have seen the fear in the eyes of individuals who lack the courage to stand up. I have met with pessimistic people who’s negativity keeps them stuck in the swaps of self pity. People who believe that the system have set them for failure from the moment they were born. The reality is that this cycle of failure and neglect perpetrates from generation to generation. It is then worsened by the high prison recidivism rates that tear families apart, and cause millions of children to loose their parents and role models. On top of that, the culture of confinement causes individuals to adjust in detrimental ways that do not allow them to rehabilitate but merely to survive. The biggest problem however, is the lack of positive guidance to set values, goals and aspirations. Although jail and prison extinguish hope, we have the power to change our lives regardless of our environment and situations. We can motivate the pursuit of excellence, starting with taking responsibility for our life, changing our attitude, setting goals and embracing change.
The small jail I am detained in, lacks many of the programs and services that larger facilities offer. Without access to even windows or the outdoors, we live twenty-four hours a day confined within a dorm room cell, with up to sixty-four other individuals. During my time here I have met great people, some who I consider my friends. But most, lost in a state of hopelessness without beliefs and values to
guide them successfully through a prison sentence. With the mentality that there is nothing they can learn from being in jail and certainly nothing they can gain from another inmate. The idea of ever going back into society seems so distant and remote, that it seems best to simply wait for time to go by. The perception is that we are in the worst stages of our journey and there is nothing we can do. Most people will waste their time watching TV, playing card games, and forgetting about the world outside. Other read, study the bible or exercise relentlessly to avoid feeling the passing of time. However the never ending lecture you hear, is how much I will change when I get out of here and “when I get to prison.”
As I began writing my journey from inside a jail cell, while still awaiting a criminal conviction, in a place where most people say “there is nothing we can do.” I knew that I could not waste any time. I needed to take action. If I was going to be I jail, I would make my time as productive and proactive as I could. This inspired, me to create this website. I visualized a place where justice impacted individuals could create a profile, share the story of their inspiring journey and have a place to publish book reports and articles. My goal is to have a place where the voices of people undergoing some of the toughest struggles can be heard. A place to show the commitment to change and provide motivation that can inspire others to follow on a path to success. In jail there are many people who lack the guidance or the support to be successful, the courage and confidence to find their self-worth. I know that together we can build a community support network that can provide tools, strategies and resources to help others. I want this site to encourage as many people as possible to show that transformation is possible, success is possible and that together we can come out as valuable members of society. I want to show that extraordinary rehabilitation is possible even in the individuals that society has long condemned. I know that we all have the ability to overcome all adversities regardless of our situation. I know people need to hear of success stories that provide inspiration; kind of like a proven guide on how to overcome the challenges of confinement. I am documenting my journey, so I may empower others to reject patterns of failure and have the courage to fight against the fear of the unknown. I am committed to creating content and a community where we can embrace challenges and understand that after our greatest failures, comes our greatest success.
- R. Tello